Friday, June 17, 2011

Foreskin and Goldfish in San Francisco.

San Francisco has done it again. After serious debate, and a ballot measure already on the books banning circumcision, they want to ban goldfish. I wonder if these pinheads, who hold office, have all night benders thinking this stuff up. I love San Francisco. It is a beautiful city, but they once discussed birth control for pigeons. I'm not exactly sure how you do that. Does someone place a little pill into the bird feeder each morning? What happens if they miss a morning? Do they put two pills in the feed the next day? Is there a morning after pill? 

The idea of being circumcised after you have a memory is terrifying. Can you imagine a thirteen year old boy when the Rabbi comes to visit for his Bar Mitzvah? Friends and family gather around, mom is smiling, dad is beaming proud as a peacock, while little Yakov holds his noodle out to be snipped by an old man, with a long beard, wearing a Yamaka. Ouch! Then there's the photo album and video of the event. I wonder if they will serve cake and ice cream. Sorry for the visual.   

Banning goldfish is a different proposition. Someone thinks goldfish are being bred inhumanely, similar to puppy farms (these are the same folks that think circumcising a thirteen year boy is humane.) Hmmm . . . They live in water. How can you treat an animal that lives in water inhumanely? If the water is to hot or cold, they die. No sale. If you don't feed them, they die. No sale. Little kids forget to feed them or change the water, they die. They're fed to other fish in huge aquariums. I'm not trying to callous, but this is a silly. In the ocean, little fish swim by the millions close to one another so they don't get eaten by bigger fish. Then there's Chinatown, which probably has a way of making a goldfish an aphrodisiac or a cure for foot fungus.

This is San Francisco, America's Sodom and Gomorrah, where anything and everything goes, except goldfish, foreskin, and pigeons. I wonder what's next.   

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