Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sunday's gym rant

Sunday afternoon's I make time to get my skinny, aging, body into the gym for some much needed exercise. I try and go three or four times a week, usually early in the morning, before work when it's quiet and peaceful and feels more like meditation than working out. Today the gym was rather crowded and as I worked the machines I made some observations.

A rather soft Asian man stacked six 45lb weights on each side of one of the machines. That's 500 lbs. Then he stood in front of the machine stretching with funny motions like he was a dancing chicken. I was curious to how he intended to lift that much weight without snapping his arms in half like matchsticks. He sat down at the ready, took a few deep breaths, and pushed with all his might. The bar moved about two inches and then he came back and did the same motion over again three times. He only lifted it two inches! What the hell was the point of that? There wasn't any girls watching him. Did I also say he wore dark aviator glasses too? Need I say more.

One man looked like a tank with a tight long sleeve shirt on. His neck bulged veins, and I think I saw extra muscles that normal humans don't have. He obviously really, really, really likes the gym. Get a life!

In the corner were a few high school girls who sat and talked the whole time. Daddy was paying their membership and they used it as a house of gossip.

At another machine was "the grunter". With every motion he let out a huge grunt, which could have been interpreted as the passing of wind (fart). His whole body dripped with sweat and he smelled so bad you wondered when was the last time he took a shower. Yuck!

I only make these observations because these people know who they are. They know that they are disturbing to the rest of us who go to try and stay in shape. If you are one of them. Get a clue. Take a shower, wear a muzzle, and lift weights that are suitable for your muscle mass before you snap all your tendons and muscles. The rest of us would appreciate it.

I know. I got off on another tangent.