Heaven is a fairy story or end of days?

Stephen Hawking, the famous physicist declared that heaven was a "fairy story". He knows this because he has spent his life thinking about the universe. He has concluded that God does not exist. The atheists are cheering him on. I think Hawking has been staring into space so long he's missed the little things, like a butterfly landing on a flower, the eyes of a newborn baby when they open and gaze upon you for the first time, a rainbow, and sunsets over the Pacific Ocean. Maybe in heaven he can get out of that chair and run. You would think he would hope for that. Here are some questions for you Mr. Hawking: Why is mankind the only creature on earth that loves, cries, feels compassion, builds incredible things, hates, and even kills for no reason? Without the concept of heaven or hell, what's the point? If we are just electrical circuits why do anything? For a genius, he's an idiot, and I wish he would keep his comments to physics.   

Then we have the doomsayers who believe the world is about to end this Saturday, May 21st. It is judgment day or the rapture to those more biblical. That's when the good, the meek, and the blessed go directly to heaven. They don't pass "go" or collect $200 (zing!). Everyone else is subject to fire, floods, and brimstone. The teachers of these beliefs arrived at this date (they've been wrong before) through careful analysis of biblical passages. For thousands of years these folks have predicted the end of times. Some even committed suicide to ride a comet (remember Hale-Bop). I guess that didn't work out so well since the real end of times is this weekend. Then we have the Mayan calendar predicting the end of times as December 12, 2012. Has anyone been to Yucatan and seen what is left of the Mayan civilization? Enough said about their genius. 

Just to be on the safe side, you might want to move up anything you want to do this weekend to Friday.

Presidential race. Pop goes the weasel.

I try to not get political here, but I need to rant!

It seems like we just got out of one election and already are filled with media events by hopeful candidates. The same faces keep popping up, over and over, like one of those clown boxes where you turn the wheel and a puppet jumps out at you. "Round and round cobbler's bench the monkey chased the weasel; the monkey thought 'twas all in fun; Pop goes the weasel." I keep hearing it my head every time I see Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, and Mike Huckabee. I want to stick two fingers down my throat and gag. Donald Trump isn't going to run. Why would he? He is a publicity hound. Sarah Palin. She's not going to run either. She's making $22 million a year now. Are we stuck with this cast of misfits?  I am sick of the constant barrage from radio and television head-bangers (you know who you are) from both parties telling us about the trouble our country is in. Here is some news for you. WE KNOW IT. We feel it every day. Our credit card has a limit. Our gas tanks are empty. Our jobs require us to work. We don't have time to campaign around the country. We would be fired if we used the corporate jet to fly out to see our buddies at Facebook to have dinner.

I read in the newspaper that California is closing 65 state parks. The people who run this state are idiots. People will pay to use the parks. People will pay to camp at the parks. People will pay to see the exhibits. Here's a thought. Charge more. People will pay it. At least the governor axed the new death row at San Quentin that would have cost us $300+ million. Here's thought. Execute them or change their sentence to life without parole. Stop wasting the taxpayer's time and money.

By the way. Survivor finale tonight!  

Carpool lanes . . .

This morning while driving to work I was wondering about carpool lanes. I know what you're thinking. Why would Rick be thinking about the diamond lanes on the freeway when there are so many other things to worry about: Who is the next terrorist on the Navy Seals list (great job fellas'!)? The national debt. Home prices. The Stock Market. The price of gold. The price of gas. The 2012 election (are you kidding?). Taxes. Immigration control. The nuclear meltdown in Japan (have you noticed the media stopped talking about that?). Who is going to win American Idol? Why is Dancing with the Stars so popular? Is Kim Kardashian going to be posing in a bikini today? Who the hell is Coco? And the Jersey Shore in Italy. With all these important issues to fog up my brain, why focus on the carpool lane. Because it irritates me.

During the peak hours of traffic, we take a perfectly good freeway and shrink it by one lane. That's a good idea! What governmenl worm thought this up? Can't the Tea Party do something about it? Can we have the Seals raid their compound? Our liberty is being violated. Am I the only one who thinks the carpool lane is stupid? The premise is that people will carpool to save gas. Have you ever watched the people flying by while you inch forward at a snails pace? Half of them (and we aren't talking about Hybrids) only have one person in the car. The CHP (at $281 per ticket) could put a huge chunk in the state's debt. Just put cop at both ends and have him point to the side of the freeway to receive a fat ticket. While they are at, they can issue another ticket to the people who think holding the cell phone as a speakerphone are not breaking the law. I say we get rid of carpool lanes. Open the freeway up to all of us. If carpoolers want to have their own lane, give it to them between 9:00AM and 3:00PM. They will still feel special and all of us could get to work a bit faster.

Royal Wedding hype . . .

Is it just me or is the Royal Wedding hype just a bit over the top? I realize in Great Britain this is a huge affair. I get it. Their British. They still have a queen and other royal titles held over from the dark ages, as if King Henry VIII were still around. They don't rule the land or remove heads anymore (like Henry did). They simply exist in a huge palace. If you meet the Queen in person, you must curtsy and never touch her. In 1776, we told the King of England to take a royal hike. Now we have to bow and drink tea with our pinkie finger balancing the cup. I hear there are whole classes on meeting with the Queen. Can you imagine what that class is like? I'd go for a regular handshake. If it wasn't for us she'd be speaking German.

I guess girls think it is a fairy tale to marry a prince. This princess had to take a class on how kiss properly in front of a crowd. Hmmm . . . they been together for eight years and even live together. I am guessing they know how to do a lot more than kiss. I wonder if she really knows what she's getting into. Although this prince isn't a frog like his father.

I wish them well, but I don't get the hype.

No sex in space . . .yet

On virtually every news channel the headlines were about the first lady's plane. The pilot had to abort a landing because it flew within three miles of another plane. That was the headline on both conservative and liberal news sites. I'm not kidding. Why is that news? Why do any of us give a rats ass about that?   

One headline states,  "The Russians say there has been no sex in space . . . yet." I was just wondering about the other day. It was at the top of my mind, right along with my mortgage payment, paying for daughters college education, and what I was going to eat for lunch. Yep. It just popped right into my head. I needed to know this. The thought of two cosmonauts have orbital intercourse is something that should make headline news.

We all needed to know what outfit Lyndsey Lohan wore to court. Headline news. Last week we treated to the thoughts about global warming from Charles Manson. You're kidding right? Nope. Headline news. Snooki's weight loss treatment. Headline news. Coco (who the f$%k is Coco) wears tight pants. Headline news. Then there is a 'Don't say the word Gay Bill' that is gaining traction in Tennessee. They want to ban a word that is defined in Webster's as meaning; joyous and lively, merry, happy, and lighthearted. Aren't we getting a little sensitive in a time of three wars, economic chaos, and the royal wedding coming up? I know it's hard to take it all in. But it's headlines news. Then there is the really important news like the first electoral college map of 2012. Can you hear me gagging? Sharon Stone in a bikini. Still gagging.

Great job reporters. Still gagging.

It made me wonder . . .

I saw an old home in Oregon last week, sitting alone, in a green field by side the road. It looked like a giant had pushed it sideways, stretching it in a twisted tilt. Weeds grew like spider webs all over it. The roof bowed from time and weather. Only chips of white paint were visible. The barn behind it was in worse shape. I thought about the people who built the little house after walking for months. They picked this spot to build their dreams. There were no roads, only trails. Only the ghosts of their memory remain. I wanted to stop and take a photo, but we were driving by too fast on the highway. It made me think about times past. Their world was about family, food, shelter, and freedom. Our world is about money, success, fame, loud music, fast cars, big house, bling, I-pods, I-pads, flat screen TV's, reality shows, lottery tickets, computers, Facebook, Twitter, traffic, crime, extremists, taxes, self-interest, Republicans, Democrats, taxes, and constant noise.

Who had it better? Just a thought

It's not funny . . .

Have you read the newspapers lately? The online news services? Left wing or right? There's nothing funny in any of them. Try to find something. Charlie Sheen got laughed off the stage. That would be funny, but he's not. Snooki got paid to speak at Rutgers. That really isn't funny. It's kind of twisted. The phrase "baby bump" has now become common. Donald Trump for President? Gaddafi (correct spelling is a mystery) wants it to stop. Please leave. Jon Gosselin gets a new gig. Who gives a s..t. Congress is bickering over the budget. Isn't that all politicians do?  A hole in a Southwest plane. Now that's not funny. UConn and Butler? The only people who think that is funny bet big Vegas. Arizona may add a $50 tax for smokers and obese. "Please step on the scale so I know how much to tax you for the cigarettes." Huh? Maybe that's a little funny, unless you happen to be the person being weighed.

What do you think?